Truth: Farmhouses are messy in the spring.

I haven't blogged in forever but since my in-laws are coming in to town this evening and I've got T-O-N-S to do I thought now would be the perfect time!

It has been CRAZY here - we now have 39 chickens, a pony, two llamas, eight goats, three cats, and a dog living here.  Five of those goats are pregnant.  Actually - three have had their babies in the last 10 days - and goat kids are the CUTEST thing on the face of the planet.  I got to play James Herriot and deliver the ones that came so far - I will probably miss the other two births because I leave tomorrow to go to girl's camp - thus why my in-laws are coming to town.  They are VERY graciously driving up here to watch my four monkeys for the week - not to mention all of the animals.

I mentioned James Herriot and for real - because I am reading his series of books I was able to keep my cool.  If I hadn't read story after story of his where he has to reach his hand into an animal's rear end then I might have felt more squeamish about doing it myself.  But, thanks to James, I was good to go.

And with all of the animal births and other spring duties around the farm - my house has been a MESS!  I am not naturally a clean person anyhow but when you add like 50 chores to the list of to-do's you have to start prioritizing.  And unfortunately for the kitchen - birthing kids scores higher than dishes.  Luckily though, we're coming down from the craziness and the dishes are once again getting done.

And we've had a wonderful June.  My brother Weston and his lovely prego wife Alison came into town.  It was the first real visit from anyone and it made our house feel real.  After we moved it was almost like all of our friends and family in other locations stopped living and we entered some weird fourth dimension.  But having them visit seemed to pop that bubble.  And it was so nice to have someone come and see the beauty of where we live and like it too.  Not to mention seeing them. :)

And then the Wingers came into town and I have to say that it was one of the funnest weeks we've ever had as a family.  Their kids and ours played endlessly outside, we cooked, we ate, we made soap, we talked - it was the best.  And Sheree was such a gracious visitor that when she left it was like my fairy godmother had visited.  She cleaned my car top to bottom and filled it with gas and had showered me with birthday gifts while she was here.  Thanks, Sheree.  Best.friend.families.

So, where are all of the photos?  My camera is still on the outs - I have been a little lazy about sending it in to the shop.  So instead here is a movie the boys and I made a month or so ago.  It's life changing, I promise.

A little madness in the spring is wholesome even for the King. - Emily Dickinson

We have gone slightly mad.  Already sunburned - never shoed - or indoors.  We cannot get enough of our lover Spring.

That includes but isn't limited to adopting a kitten - Marmalade.  Who could say no to her orangeness?

We also got some foster hens from a friend - which means instant eggs.  I love it.  Yesterday while walking inside with three warm eggs in my hand my heart leapt within me.  I am in love with my life.  30+ hens and counting...

But with that madness has come some interesting DEVELOPMENTS...

Do you know what is wrong with this picture?  Yes, it is slightly obscene - but it shouldn't be.  This pig is supposed to be castrated.  Is he?  No, no he is not.  Which means we can't let him get over 200 lbs(around the time of sexual maturity) or else his meat will be tainted and yucky.  So, Mister Mister, you're gonna be bacon a lot sooner than we expected.  Like in less than two weeks.    I'll take pictures, I promise.

So, farewell Porkchop - it was good while it lasted.

Spring on the farm.

Honestly, most days I really do pinch myself when it comes to how amazing it is out here.  I love it - I think it's one of the prettiest places I've ever been - and it's where I live and what I look at as I wash the dishes.  And now the beauty of where we live has outdone itself by welcoming in the spring.

It's the time of year when the first flowers are pushing through the dead leaves and cold soil.  The time of year when indoor kitties become outdoor kitties.

It's the time of year when boots are nearly enough and when new puppies are in heaven.  Come summer - we'll leave the boots and shirts behind too.

It's the time of year when teenaged chickens are going through their awkward phase and toddlers are discovering the joy of the outdoors again(all while wearing last year's t-shirts).

It's the time of year for fattening up piglets and for using slingshots(that might accidentally break barn windows).

Of course there are days when all I think about is the dishes or the tight budget or the tight jeans I'm wearing...but as soon as I step out the door it begins to melt away into this.  The other night Mike and I went out to feed the pigs after dark and we were serenaded by two great horned owls hooting to each other.  It was magical.

Here piggy piggy....

So, yes, we got ourselves a couple of pigs.  We actually bought them a couple weeks ago but they weren't weaned yet so we had to wait until this week to get them.  We were so anxious to get them that when the day arrived and the owner said we'd have to wait to get them because she had to make an emergency trip to the dentist we were pretty bummed.  OR she said we could just go on our own without her and get them.  So, we loaded up, made the drive to Colville, WA and got those pigs.  And it was great.

Wait, no, it was actually really really REALLY awful.  It actually was so terrible that on the drive home I was sure I had made a mistake about pigs and actually being a farmer in general.  Speaking of which, having your dreams come true on days when you are really hormonal is a bummer.  Here you are finally doing the thing you've dreamed about for years and all you feel is rage rippling through your body every time your child whines followed by the desire to cry.  So, ya, that's where I'm at.  Anyhow, getting the pigs...

We pulled up and I left three of my four kids in the car while my oldest and I climbed into the pig "pen".  This pen was a little shed built out of plywood with about 8x8x8 dimensions.  Inside there was a VERY large lactating sow and probably ten or so piglets - all laying in sticky, wet, slightly frozen mud...mingled with pig poop.  In this instance I am tempted to use a stronger word for poop because "poop" sounds cute and slightly clean and flowery compared with the stuff that was several inches deep in there.  It was foul.  So we started by trying to corner the piglets so we could grab them.  Which created LOTS of squealing.  Have you ever heard a piglet squeal?  It's LOUD.  Try having 10 piglets squealing in an 8x8 plywood dungeon of poop.  It's disturbing.  And mother pig agreed that it was disturbing that there were two humans terrorizing her babies and making a chorus of blood curdling squeals.  So she started in on the fun by grunted loudly - more like a growl - then charging us.  So as we are sliding around in this hell hole trying to grab these 30 pound piglets we also are being chased by a 300+ lb momma.  It was impossible.  It actually terrified and humbled me so much that I turned to prayer.  I can't remember if that was before or after I screamed at the momma, "I AM GOING TO EAT YOUR BABIES!!!"  After my prayer was uttered I remembered that we had some french fries on the floor of the car - you know, naturally - we had just had lunch at McDonald's.  So I sent Elijah for a few.  When he got back I had him feed very hungry and very mean momma while I grabbed a piglet by it's back leg.  Grabbing it by it's other back leg, I lifted it into the air.  At which moment it stopped squealing and Elijah, momma pig, and I stared in silence...for a moment.  But then the piglet starting squealing EVEN louder and flailing all over the place and momma started to charge - so I grabbed that thing like a football(pigskin?) and jumped out.  Shakily I shoved the crap covered baby into the cat carrier in the back of my car, and walked back to the pen - noting that several goats and a couple horses had come over to watch the show.

I should mention that at this point the dream of being a farmer had left me.

I climbed back in and did it again - this time finding that momma didn't give me a moment before charging.  It felt like slow motion.  My heart was pounding, I was weak and as I jumped over the wall I noticed that I could see the whites of momma pigs eyes VERY clearly.  Elijah followed as I shoved pig number two into the carrier.  After which realizing that I was C-O-V-E-R-E-D in poop.  Disgusting, green, thick, sticky poop - everywhere.  Since there was no one home to let us in to clean up, we shoved our hands into the snow and tried scrubbing them off that way.  I also remembered I hadn't finished my water from lunch and poured about a quarter cup of ice water onto my hands to "clean" them.   Unsuccessful with getting clean, we got into the car and got out of there.

The drive home took over an hour and a half.  The car reeked so badly that my stomach was churning, Asher cried the entire way home and I had no strength left in me.  Except for that rage I was talking about.  I didn't even want to bring the pigs home.  I didn't want to see another pig ever again.  EVER.  Elijah summed it up when he said, "Mom, I am going to have no problem killing those pigs."

Luckily, when we got home and let them into their clean and comparatively palatial pen - they looked cute.  They snorted around, rooting through the dirt, and looked happy.  So we were happy.  We had ourselves some pigs.